Notice to newspapers, and in particular bloggers. It is “Washington Mutual” – really it is. The mules have a rather dry sense of humor, as would you, if you ate this much hay. But hearing “BoFA” and “WaMu” said like their acronyms, uh, sound, is horribly annoying, and kills their high spirits.
Typing’s quick, and speaking’s quicker. Sure, print publications need to shorten things up to make sure they get 500-point headlines, but the piffle in the majority of the regurgitated “editorial” columns could easily be shredded while leaving at least one mention of the true names of things.
It’s a conspiracy to annoy mules. In a time of political prattle and hurricanes and economic strains; various bailouts and outings (Lindsey Lohan, Clay Aiken), with doomsday predictions for particle colliding and article pirating… none of that is nearly as painful as hearing the next lame commingling to stupefy the world.
The mules are not exactly elderly, even in mule years, but it’s hard to imagine what passes as “cute” today would have survived yesteryear. Bennifer? Brangelina? Thudson? Fine, the mules possibly invented the last one – the others are worse, and get used daily. Someone put us on a glue farm already.
In the olden days, there were famous celebrity couples – but ones the mules are certain would have punched the face off any reporter with the poor taste to try for another asinine combination…
Robert Burton on his twinning with Elizabeth Taylor for… Blizaburt? Lizurt? BuTay?
Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall… wish Google’s print newspaper beta was finished, what were they called by the press? BaBo? Humpen? Lauphrey?
Clint Eastwood and Sondra Locke… Slint? Clintlock? Soncli?
It’s beyond ridiculous, and it’s not just the newsstand trash. If the real names of companies, celebrities, and politicians sound stale after a while, here’s a mule hint: they’re probably overexposed, go find some real news.
