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Thesis Tutorial Roundup – Getting Social

Google Plus One - Create a Profile of You Making an Ass of Yourself

Greetings, bipeds.

There have been changes brewing since last the herd spoke to you. The invasion of privacy continues… it has become the gold standard of “Free as in FreeBird!” — thank you, Original Napster — practices that secure human souls in exchange for detailed personal information.

About you.

Now, because the human species places greater value on its Facebook walls, the frippery of tweeting, and Google’s stock prices email accounts, you won’t care when your DNA is sold to your enemies… not so long as free maps exist.  Hurrah!

The significance of the Google +1 nonsense is that of the Google Profile required to better trace and track you and your friends — that is to say, your extremely casual acquaintances you know nothing about but media companies do — as they engage in sundry “Plus One” adventures. So most of them are offshore agents paid to frolic in this new Wild West of spam, it matters not.

Your Profile can and will be used against you. But what of that!  Live it up while you can, no?  Really, can it be any worse than the other horse apples you’ve dumped as iframes and plugins into what just might have been legible regurgitation otherwise?  No surrey-bob!

Thus, to that foul end, if you are desperate to sell your soul… best do it properly!  Forthwith, a list of the lesser evils one might use to charge into social media chaos…

The herd could hardly have better itself made sense of the Google +1 mess — here’s how to add the Google +1 code to a Thesis / WordPress site. Total Buzz kill.  We shall have the Cat write a fitting eulogy on Knol.

And lest the king of bodily invasions be forgot, you’ll want to stop and eat the roses, or at least slow down… by adding Facebook Sharing, too! Google may claim the high road to hell in withholding facial recognition technology — but you can bet your blankets The Face Book will not. Be sure to tag everyone you hold dear with PID and malicious adjectives.

What’s this?  Hold that stagecoach!  You say you have no site upon which to moan of social injustices?  Why then, you can choose to go a’ Tumblrin’ down the free bird tree, or you can exercise a dash of horse sense and get yourself a reliable, managed web hosting solution.

If you make it that far, since the herd is linking whinny-nilly to their site as it stands, you should buy a copy of the Thesis theme for WordPress… shore-up the real you, make a foal of yourself on your own domain, publish your own data and content for the scrapers…  and pay a pittance for the dwindling freedom to maintain whatever slender chance remains to conceal such unsightly birthmarks as you surely have.

That’s the end of this here rodeo.

Socialist Media for Humans to Click...

1 Linda whinnied... 06/13/2011 at 1:54 pm

And I thought I was the sensible one. Thanks for setting me straight.

2 Michelle DeMarco whinnied... 11/16/2011 at 12:42 pm

I have found home! Your wit and wisdom are just the thing the doctor ordered! Not only can I learn a thing or two about how to sell my soul properly, but I can also get a good laugh in because you are freaking hysterical. (Excuse the language, normally I am prim and proper to the max.) I have already gone down the road to Google +1 Goodness (completely sacrificing my place in the afterworld) but this article made me realize just how exciting having all those followers really is. Love this blog! (it is also on my GOOGLE homepage thanks to the rss feed). Bossy Redhead OUT!

3 The Mules nickered back... 11/16/2011 at 2:15 pm

The Mules rather like bossy redheads… our favorite strawberry roan — this would be Jenny — was entrusted with our Facebook presence.

Relatively inexpensive disposable cell phones, certain online… tools… and other techniques may be required for quadrupedal mammals who wish to prove themselves worthy of verified accounts.

4 Mark whinnied... 12/13/2011 at 7:57 am

What’s up with the two-face theme? Twice as ugly, twice as illegible?

Or is it just broke?

5 The Mules nickered back... 12/27/2011 at 2:05 am

Greetings Mark, you have won a prize! One human fished from nine hundred bits of spam. Cat so very nearly trashed your response… but this is precisely why the chickens formed an oversight committee.

As to ugly and illegible… do you care enough to explain?

The herd gleefully ignored whatever this mess might produce in older versions of Internet Explorer — but IE9 and the majority of modern browsers and operating platforms were reviewed during the build. There are a hoofprint of outstanding items on our final list… but we’re plowing frozen acres, friend… our attention is often diverted.

If you don’t much like overdoses of mule red, or other items of opinion and personal judgment, that’s one thing… but if the Dog has put his paws in the mud yet again, the herd would appreciate knowledge of it, that his sins might be addressed.

The South Pasture